College is coming in so soon and I have no feelings right now. A couple days ago I was just nervous and excited at the same time but now it’s like I’m going on with the flow. Like I’m on drugs and I’m just surprised the world is still spinning from all these illusions. My whole life I’ve had my mindset of going to college after High School and it’s all so crazy how this is it. The moment of when I was a little kid knowing I would go to college, not knowing what to major on, but I knew going to college was important. If I we’re to make the decision now, I would not go. But I’m going to college because it’s what I need. Yes, I can drop out of college and start writing my first novel but I need an education. What’s annoying is how this semester is just my general education. All these classes and textbooks make me wanna throw up. “But I need to be positive so that I don’t have that mind set of failing.” Bitch, I can be scared all I want. It’s a feeling. Grab a textbook, look it up, talk to an expert about it, suck my ass, and understand I need to feel this as a way of me evolving into a wonderful giraffe.
But ugh it’s also about me making friends. I ONLY HAVE TWO FRIENDS GOING TO THE SAME COLLEGE AS ME. I need to breathe. I know I can’t survive the semester with two friends. I need more friends. But how the hell will that happen? I’m awkward as a giraffe not knowing what to do after eating. But giraffe’s are majestic just standing tall. I guess I would have to be myself but it’s hard to be myself. And I’m saying that as someone who lives in California. That’s how you know I’m
dramatized overthinking everything.
But to cut to the chase, I’m afraid of everything. This is a huge step but I’m proud of myself for sticking to it and not quitting. Also because I’m going to get hot wings after class with my friend Selena and it’s all so delicious. hfkahfagjjaf. Food is my motivator to go to college, basically.