Thousands is the new One

Why buy one piece of chocolate when you can buy thousands? Your butt-hole will understand. It wouldn’t have a problem pooping out those chocolate bars in one sitting. It’s what it’s suppose to do. I’m not saying your should eat them all day. But you shall have them saved for a day when your all depressed and shit and all you need is chocolate. Ideally you should eat chocolate, sob hard, and watch Dirty Dancing. (What am I saying? I haven’t even seen Dirty Dancing). [Yes this whole paragraph is suppose to question my mental state so don’t take it seriously].

Okay I don’t know why but this one is screaming at me: Buy a thousand cups of Starbucks coffee and give them away. Make it an event! If you gave Starbucks coffee for high school students that would be so cool. It would be so cool, it would make my day. Seriously. This might even get you a Nobel prize… You never know.  You know how many times I need coffee in the morning? It wakes me up and gives me creepy thoughts. (My creative thoughts). And one way or another it helps me learn. So take notes ladies and gentlemen!

Condoms coming in a thousand pack? Buy them! That way you can have all the sex you want!

One thousand page book! Buy it! More pages for you to love/hate. Don’t like the book? Grab a red pen and edit yourself and make it better. (Bibles work best!)

Moral of the story: If you can go one thousand, go for it. One is lame. One thousand is so cool and it makes you coolER!


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