Is it weird that I picture/want myself to be in the worst situations? As I was at youth court today a guy with a big afro was staring at me as I was at Youth Court. Even when I arrived he stared at me as if I was someone famous. Has he never seen a “feminine” guy before? Does my personality shock him? Cause let’s not get into it because he’s personality is different too at the fact that he has an afro and acts like a hypie from the 70s but dressed like a skater boy. I thought he was going to like beat me up after Youth Court and I was looking forward to it. I wanted to set him off and ask him if it makes him feel stronger and I’m not going to have him take the credit of beating up a faggot rather than changing his retrospeck of what he thinks about them now… I tend to think I have a devious mind for doing things like this. To set something good onto the world but really all I can do is be positive. And that’s what I’ve been doing all day.
Feels like my whole day I’ve been given the task to really think in symbols wise. The kind of thing your English teacher makes you want to do when writing an essay about a story. Today in Drama we watched the whole musical of South Pacific and I’m so excited for the play that if I do audition, I don’t care what role I get. I wanted to set myself high for the part of the main sailor but say I do a great job auditioning that part, what if I get a higher role like the lieutenant. But whatever. It is what it is.
I’ve had a GREAT day. I had many things that I enjoyed doing today. Today I went to starbucks and I started to realize how a Barista really likes it when you say thank you. It was sorta awkward if you think about it but for me, it wasn’t. I was sitting on my table and realize my coffee was ready and from the table I said, “Oh that’s mine. Thanks!” And as I was walking to get it the barista looked compelled and said, “Your welcome. You have a great rest of your evening.” I made it sound awkward and a bit boring but it was more than that. I felt the emotion the Barista got, thankful and knowing he really needed it after a long day at work. Think about it, it’s starbucks and they make a hundred cups of coffee a day and alot of people often grab their coffee and leave. I always grab it and say Thank You. That’s the least I could do to make them forget their stressful job.
I literally got home with 30 minutes to myself. What did I do? Listen to Amy Winehouse. I think she’s an amazing singer and songwriter. If all of her songs on Back to black where real based on her life, shit. I admire her on so many levels. When listening to the music I pictured a male version of Lady Gaga doing a musical play about her life dressed up as a drag queen. That would be EPIC. Thinking about all of the success the musical would make and the awards, one of the speeches would have to leave Lady Gaga crying and admiring Amy as a person who battled her life and reflected it to art in her music. If anyone we’re to play a role of Amy Winehouse I would imagine this would be a role that would will stay with the actor forever. Listen to the album and you’d understand.
If everyday this week was busy as this, I wouldn’t mind having no internet at home. This kind of busy day is a great feeling because I have a feeling that my presence takes an effect on everyone. Either if it’s because of my personality or the fact that I smiled at you today. Today in Psychology we watched a video about facial expressions and my teacher told us our only homework was to smile and 4 four people, strangers. I think that’s the best homework assignment anyone could ever assign. Giving a smile to a stranger gives someone hope. For me, oH GOD IT WOULD GIVE ME SO MUCH HOPe. There are so many cute guys in psychology and omg if they smile at me, it would give me hope that I’ve got a chance to be with some attractive. Not only that but it would make my day better knowing that cutie smiled at me as I just die inside because of feelings. “He’s so hot I can just bake cookies off of him.”