Ask The B!tch Questions Part 2

What’s your Starbucks fake name?
Eli! I don’t know why but it’s my favorite name. I was a huge liar at middle school and decided to tell everyone I was going to legally change my name to Eli. I even changed it on Myspace. That’s how serious I was. But it’s been so long since I’ve used that name. Like today I was going to use the name Eli but I panicked and said my name. Which sucks cause I wanted to tweet a picture of it to make the simple tweet I tweeted, “Carmel Macchiato <3” more appealing but noooo. Hashtag, giraffe problems.

What was your last dream that you remember?
Omg so this morning I had a dream that I was at Mexico and I was soo excited to go, which is odd because I’m never as excited as in my dream. So I was at my grandma’s house and I was force to go buy some corn on the cob with my uncle and aunt but didn’t ride in the car with them. I went on a bike behind them. Why would I want to ride on a bike that’s 50 yards away? I don’t even like to work out or even walk home after school. Another odd thing about the dream is that I was riding the bike so fast. Fast as a motorcycle. I may be tall and have long legs but that shit is impossible for someone who hasn’t used a bike in years. No joke. (Don’t think it’s because I’m poor. It’s because i’m so lazy.)

Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
That would be my best friend Selena… Hm I don’t know let’s ask her. Her reply is, “Um duhh I meant it homie.” There it is my spam readers. She’s so gangsta she loves to use that word. And by gangsta I mean people like Selena, who listen to underground hip hop and rap music allll day.

Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
That’s a hard question but my answer is no. I want to date someone my age, not someone who is doing all the fun like getting tattoos, going to clubs, applying for credit cards, not having curfew, able to stay at nice hotels and travel. That shit would kill me. Now if you were younger and I was 18, you wouldn’t have to worry about that because my mom doesn’t let me get tattoos until she dies (even then she’ll haunt me if I get one), not a big fan of dancing in public, i don’t even have a job to apply for a credit card, I actually do have a curfew at midnight, and won’t have money to travel, again, because I don’t have a job.

When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
Today when Britney Spears new song Work Bitch was released. I hate that song because it’s not as good as her other songs. But happy cause she’s finally back and I’m excited to see the music video. (I secretly looove the song.)

Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?
Oh ofcourse! I’ll be in college in the fall of 2014 so I’m sure that’ll change my life. Like sleeping late at night, the parties I won’t go to, the amount of debt I would be in because I can already imagine my credit cards being my best friends. Plus my blog is growing everyday and that’s making me happy. And hopefully I’ll someday have paparazzi following me with their sun glasses on cause I’ll be that ugly.

Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
Jeans! I would like to wear sweats to school someday but they have to be sweats that say it’s the best sweats ever seen. In the future I would like to be the hooker of sweats at my school.

Do you care if people talk badly about you?
For a while I do care but after five minutes I get over it quickly. Haters can hate all they want but I’m basically winning because I’m cooler than you. Plus my gutt is telling me someday birds will be pooping on your food everytime your outdoors. Demi loves me so that means the birds on her tattoo have a connection with the real birds in this dimension and will tell them to give the haters, hell. Don’t mess with me bitch.

When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday when I was watching videos of Demi Lovato performing Nightingale at the LA County Fair. She’s just too perf I can’t.

Are you dating the last person you talked to?
Selena? Does her having my sperm if she doesn’t find a man at 30 years old, count?

What’s the best part about school?
Breaks, long tours around the school “while at the restroom,” and seeing my friends everyday.

What are you listening to?
Roman Holiday by Nicki Minaj. The creepy bridge is currently playing. Hahaha.

Believe in ghosts?
Yes! My neighbor who past away many years ago “still lives there.” My new neighbor has told us that they see her at night. Their description of her is like 100% accurate. It’s so scary to know she’s still seen at night. What if she gets bored there and “moves” to my house. Omg I won’t be able to sleep and would probably die. I believe in spirits and respect them.

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