Other Fiction

Tweets I Wish Exsisted

@ladygaga: Madonna is just mad cause i thought of Born This Way before she did.

@ladygaga: Don’t hate on me Madonna because I’m #2 and your #6 on the most powerful celeb’s on Forbes.

@beyonce: Bow down to me bitches.

@amandabynes: Why do you guys hate? My nose is more important than you’ll ever be.

@lindsaylohan:@amandabynes Um? Why are you taking all the attention from me? I’m in rehab and nobody is talking about it!

@starbucks: Maybe i shouldn’t tell people my coffee can cause cancer.

@e_L_James: I’m richer than Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga just for being kinky.

@Justinbier: “@e_l_james: I’m richer than Justin Bieber and Lady gaga just for being kinky.” Me and my mom love your books!

@justinbieber: I’m the king of twitter. #swaggie

@apple: Our next product will be a landline phone that can be used to facetime one another. Its called iSeeYou.

@tinafey: If your husband is harrier than a werewolf, that’s a dealbreaker. But I can’t let him go. He makes me look hotter.

@stephaniemeyer: my books are still being sold at barnes and noble, FYI. #FiftyShadesEW!

@random1: My toes hurt so much from giving someone a massage. It’s a new thing. Toe massage. Though it’s

@koolaid: New flavor, coffee.It has the amount of caffeine that 5 cups of coffee give you.(not recommended for borderline diabetes patients.)

@TraceyMorgan: @koolaid Coffee as a new flavor? That’s racist!

@walmart: We will now be cutting hais. We won’t give a fuck if we mess up your hair. Were walmart. Were ghetto already.

@walmart: Free hair cuts will be any type of hair cut you want but you have to have a temporary tattoo on your arm to promote an ad of our choice.

@waltmart: The ad’s include: MTV 2, snuggy , Fanta, Twilight:the book, Nicki Minaj’s current single, madona’s saggy boobs, and Paula Deen’s name.

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