Focus. What would Lana Del Rey do in this case? “Let’s get out on this town cause were on fire!” (Lucky Ones). Hm okay. Let’s get a grip Jack. “Let’s go Jake,” I said to him with terror. “Let’s go baby,” he said comforting me. He’s a chicken disguised into a cow. Jack can speak. We have no time to talk. She only has 1 hour until she disappears. Now were off to the club. “Just remember eyes on the men, show the boobs, and smile,” I said to him. “Yeah sure say’s the women with her phone and coffee. Put it away! Your going to kill the vibe.” I hate when she’s right. A guy is walking toward us, yes! Finally progress. “Come and take a shot.” (This Is What Makes Us Girls). “Go for it Jack you can do this! Think Lana Del Rey!”
Yes i can. I need to make my way to heaven. Those damn KFC workers will regret what they have done. As I walk up to the very attractive cow, i notice they are producing heavy on milk. “Oh baby i love the milk! Moo moo to you. I’ve got a burning desire for you baby.” (Burning Desire.) “Hey the name is Loo. Let me kiss you yeah,” he finally talks. I’m driving fast, flash, everyone knows it/I’m trying to get to you, baby/I’m feeling scared and you know it. (Burning Desire). He walks up close to me, with his big cow lips he kisses me, heavenly. Thank god humans haven’t seen this shit cause they will be damn jelly! And also, we tend to talk ghetto. “Um do you think you’ll buy me lot’s of diamonds?” (National Anthem). “Well of course. Anything to make you produce more milk. America is a starving nation. The more milk, the better. Looks like the effect you have upon me is going to work on me too!” Oh yes! It’s working! I might go to heaven. Big dreams, gangster/said you had to leave to start your life over/I was like, “No please, stay here,/We don’t need no money we can make it all work.” (Blue Jeans). But he has to go. Once the milk starts to produce in his belly I’m off. Too bad I’m really not a cow. He’s so sweet. All chickens care about is making eggs. Cows make milk that only produces when they socialize. “Say something sweet to me,” Loo said as he moo’s and smiles. “Heaven is a place on earth with you/Tell me all the things you want to do.” (Video Games). “Oh gosh. This is making me make some milk,” Loo said, score! I did it! “My dream is to be like Carmen. Haven’t you heard the melody? The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen/She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes/She laughs like god, her mind’s like a diamond,” (Carmen) he says as i see his pouch, what ever it’s called, getting bigger and bigger, “Carmen maybe be a bitch but She wore Blue Velvet/Bluer than velvet was the night/Softer than satin was the light/From the stars. (Blue Velvet.) Don’t you get it?” What, I’m a chicken i don’t know! “No i don’t,” I said. “Blue symbolizes nothing. Vast. Just like the ocean. Carmen would be noting without her haters. Without the haters there would be no meaning to blogging, letting everything out. So she just wears it.” Cows are smarter than I thought. “Then she better preach it!” “What?” Oh shit I’m a cow. “Nothing.” Five more minutes. Ah! “Well i have to go lay my belly in the crap below me, but in peace. See you later. Just, You said I was the most exotic flower/Holding me tight in our final hour.” (Million Dollar Man). And boom. After that i disappear into heaven as my cow outfit falls onto the floor. “Loo, Hello? Hello?/C-can you hear me?
I can be your china doll/If you want to see me fall./Boy, you’re so dope,/Your love is deadly,” (Without You) I scream to the earth below.