Other Fiction

Verse 1 By Lana Del Rey

I cheated on Jamel Debbouze with Judah Friedlander (look him up, bitch). I don’t know, i just don’t think Jamel was the one, one. I mean, hes on the list for ugliest actors. But Judah is more like a bad kid. his name is almost alike to judas. he watches porn all day. drinks beer all day. and he doesn’t care what everyone thinks or cares.But it’s his hat that just got to me, ya know? Well i guess you don’t know cause i havent told you yet. I remember it was a very hot summer so me and my friends went to this lame TV show party. And he came up to. Looking like a doll in his fancy khakis with his dark and light blue plad button up shirt, tucked it. Uh, Lana like-ey.
He said to me, “look twat read the hat. Cant read it with all the pepsi cola up your pussy? It says, craving horny-ness. Nice pick up line right?”
“Yeah. Do you want to go to your place so i could show you how much that pick up line has an effect on me?”
“Sure. But i need to get my wife out the house first. Just kiddingggggggggg. i’m trying this new thing where i joke around alot so i could get girls, like you, shocked and mad, making them even crazier on the bed. Did it work?”
“Oh yes it did. Come’on lets go.”
We went to his house and damm boyyyyyyyyyyy *gangsta voice* he literally took me down. Down low. Lower than his low rider *back to lana del rey* ” Time for my hourly singing, I’ve seen the world/done it all….. something something,” I said while laying on the bed after his massage.
“Want some cake?”
“Uh new lyrics! Had my cake now.”
“Just so you know my buttox has a diamond piercing, i don’t know what to spend my money on so.”
“Diamonds, brilliant/In Bel Air now/ hot summer nights, mid july.”
“Sorry no AC here.”
“It’s okay. The heat gives me visions! WOAH! Let me just pick my nose for a bit.”
“Gosh that’s hot.”
“When you and i were forever wild/the crazy days, city lights/the way you’d play with me like a child!”
“Oh i know, playing twister at our first time, sure was fun.”
******I hold no rights to the lyrics in the fiction post. It’s Lana Del Rey’s song. Keep up with the system, guizeeee.*******

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