Fiction Friday

Fiction Friday: T_ _ _ _ Y_ Don’t Want To Kiss Ya

  • My crush’s name is: Bill Nye the science guy. I kinda like then old. You see, i have this theory that old men know how to make your hips stir after sex. Just like Sponge bob goes around town. Old men just love to have sex cause they don’t know when they are going to die, so they go hard at the game every night.
  • My cellphone company is: AT&T. Those commercials of the little kids on TV get to me. “I rather be a slow turtle.” You go little fella! You want to be slow in the middle in the street and get runned over, go for it! Ignore the haters.
  • My eye color is: Brown. But not normal brown, shit brown. Living the dream, I eat shit everyday because i’m like a frog, i swallow my eyes to my throat when i close them.
  • I am allergic to:
  • My 1st job was: Singing in the elevator. I worked for geisha’s and the men had to go up the elevator to the second floor and my job was to sing for them to entertain them. The lyric i sang the most was, “Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage”
  • Last book you read: Sex for dummies.
  • Piggy banks are: Sexual. Haven’t you noticed why pink looks hot on women? Cause it’s sexual. Therefore, piggy banks are sexual.
  • My mom: Taught me all there is to know about threesomes.
  • The last three songs I bought were? Sex in the lounge, your body, and dance ass.
  • Last YouTube video watched: How to seduce my boss.
  • What did you do yesterday? Lets just say i was practicing with my banana.
  • Aliens: I believe in them. Since they can pee from their finger, i hope they can use it against my sex and ejaculate from it.
  • Hugs or Kisses: Kisses. They can give off herpes.
  • Drunk or High: High. Weed can make my eyes red. It looks so cool. Shit with a dash of red diarrhea.
  • Red necks or Black haired: Red necks. They don’t give a shit if you smell or not. They love black haired girls like me.
  • Hot or cold: Cold. I don’t like hot, that’s the temperature of the devil.
  • McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds. It’s more ghetto there. I once played soccer at their parking lot with the hooker homeless girls. Everyone was staring. Bitches be like having fun with the family.
  • Wal-Mart or Target: Wal-mart! Hashtag ghetto. I can go to walmart, wear my supper short jeans, show my ass and they don’t even care.
  • MySpace: Fine take your space back.
  • 103: Hugged someone: I touched his crotch on accident. “OMG. I’m sorry.” “Don’t worry it’s okay. I like it. That’s why i always hire dark haired girls, they dirty.” “Ohhhh my.”
  • Last time you ate: I was caught up in the moment with my boss.
  • Cried in front of someone: Last time that happened was just recently. My mom called me a whore.
  • Who makes you laugh the most: Gorillas.
  • The worst sound in the world: Your laugh.
  • The movie I cried at was: Mean Girls.
  • My favorite celebrity is: John Gange. Who’s that? Exactly.
  • Where would you like to be: In your arms.
  • Do you want children: Only if you want to.
  • Ever been in love: Yes, your reading this about me.
  • One person that you wish you could see right now: Your face in which you call ugly.
  • Do you have a 5 year plan: The movie? Yes, that’ll be us.
  • Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Meet you.
  • Have you pre-named your children: Dory and Nemo.
  • Did you answer all these truthfully? I really do like you. (This is when you get freaked out on the work of fiction can be.)

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