*Deep breath* My love life status? Desperatly looking for love. OSHO, my hero, says “All love is, is filling in lonelyness.” I think i spelled Lonelyness correctly. Whatever i care less. You understand me right? Then thats all that matters. Or atleast something like that. I know what OSHO means by that quote. He’s basically saying it in a bad way. And im sure in his book he would explain why. Well, Fuck you OSHO. I admit i feel lonely and in need of someone looking for love to feel in my lonelyness. I just want to feel happy. Duh!
There’s this one guy named Justin who is desperatly wanting me. If god is sending me Justin, you can do better. He is just so ugly. He is like a total faggot. Literally. Fuck you Daniel! What about his personality? Its not all about looks! You may say. Bitch shut up you don’t even know him. He is so gross, non prude, and has a huge ego. He was telling me about his fantasy of him, me and this other gay guy, having sex. He even talks about sex all the time to his classmates. He talked to my friend today talking about how cute i am and how prude i am. Bitch calm yo balls First of all, i get that i’m hot and all but we are like never ever going to be in a relationship. So shut up. Second of all, im prude? Gosh i’m glad i’m not you! I’m not prude i’m just a normal human being. I don’t talk about my fantasies and my turn ons to everybody like you do. Thank god i’m not him. Today afterschool he came up to me and my friend and started talking. Like nobody cares. He was saying, Daniels so cute. He can be nice and then out of nowhere he would be mean to you. Shut up butt kisser. Then he starts singing out of nowhere. He is a huge opera singer and thinks he’s the best out of the whole school. And he probably thinks of the whole world, i wouldn’t doubt it. Keyworks: Loves opera music. The typical gay. I asked him why he was singing and he said cause he had to practice for his school concert. I have no fucking clue why he was singing. The concert wasn’t until 7PM and it was a little after 2:30. Like Justin, calm down you will have enough time. And then out nowhere he sides hugs me. I asked him, “Um what are you doing?” I forgot what his excuse was but i really didn’t care. All i wanted is to get my sweater cleaned ASAP. Then when my mom arrived to pick me up he was like, Bye! I have your number so ill text you later! So creepy in so many ways. First, the way he said it. He made it seem like very creepy love crush status just like the movies, showing how a girl is madly in love with a guy and says that kind of stuff. He is gay so he i see where he got that from. (A girl). Second, now why the fuck does he have to have my number!? He must of gotten it from my friend when he used her phone. When i left i said, I’ll make sure to block you. But i’m sure he didn’t hear me. If he did, good. He did text me saying, Hi! Its justin! :D Yeah Justin, don’t use that icon cause all that icon really reseambles is the opposite. And i ignored him the rest of the day. I’ll come up with an excuse tomorrow.
I miss Zayn… I was going to text him today but i forgot and it was too late. I guess i’ll text him tomorrow. I just don’t him to think i’m a huge creep desperate for him (just like justin).
One of my close friends was telling me that shes already taken and was asked by a guy on Friday. She said the way he asked her is that they were at Barnes and noble and then he shows her a book and she see’s a post it on the book that says, would you be my girlfriend? And she said yeah. That was so cute! Gosh i wish that happened to me. I was so jelous. They’re going to be a good couple, i know that. But what about me!? I want happy beginning!
I’m just desperate right now cause i feel lonely. Tomorrow at school its mistletoe day. Wear green if single or red if taken. What color do i wear if i’m desperate for love? Green with my phone number on the back of my shirt? I don’t even know if i should participate. If i wear green people would think that i’m desperate. Which i am. But telling the whole school? Yeah no. I guess i wear green. Only if my friend does it with me. I just texted her. She better or else i will kill her first child.