Once upon a time there was a vampire named E who believed in Magic. Which is possible because he is a vampire himself and that involves some magic right? Since Vampire’s sparkle he thought that sparkle was the magic. So he went in search for a vampire to kill and use it’s skin and hopefully use the magic to find his love of his life. So he killed the guy. But what was so weird and awkward about this killing is that the vampire was eating lettuce. Just plain lettuce in his hand walking down Times Square in New York. E got him from the neck and said “You ready to get killed?” The vampire said, “Sure why not. There’s no point in life to live in if Lana Del Rey isn’t playing on the radio. That’s at least here in the US.” “But your a fucking Vampire. Just move to London. They play Lana all the time.” The vampire histitated, “I can but you’re going to kill me so too late now.” “Oh yeah that’s right. Any last words?” “Lana Del Rey is the queen and may santa get alot of pussy this christmas.” E said, “Um okay.” He kills him right away by turning his head. He rips off the skin and take’s it home. The sparkle apparently does work. He met Bella. But she’s human. So he tells her, “Bitch just love me. I killed a weirdo just for you.” And they live happily ever after. FOREVER. Though Bella is so serious.