Fiction Friday

How To Be A Jock

To be a jock, you have to exercise alot. Do it every day. In the morning, afternoon, or night. If you do it all day you will look too muscle-ary disgusting. And you won’t get any pussy or dick.

You must have a secret crush on Taylor Swift. She may be too girly, but her music will make you stronger. Cause her music is too catchy and the music will pump you up to exercise. But it has to be her new album, Red. Make this album classy and manly. Just like the old out fashionaned jocks do with Call Me Maybe. Taylor Swift’s career is 100 times better than Call Me Maybe. Taylor Swift is the way, not Call me maybe. Taylor Swift might teach you how to dance which will come in handy someday.

Your favorite movie is the cheetah girls. No comment. Actually i do have a comment, this movie will make terrify you and encourage you to become more manly and a bigger athlete. That is all. Just watch it, and you’ll be thanking me later. With some earphones. Because earphones are a bitch, they can break and not function so easily, just like me. Calling me a bitch for making you watch it.

Your favorite color other than red, is blue. Blue. Yes blue. I suggest that everything you own become’s blue. With those muscles, you’ll be the new barnie. But a blue barnie. Not like the blue man from las vegas, they all have STD’s from having sex with hookers every night cause it’s Vegas.

Your favorite drink is Sprite. Not too sweet, nor too much calories. Plus it has no caffeine. Caffeine will make you want to stay up at night and will tempt you to exercise some more.

Jocks always have them girls or the gays all over you. You must be strong and act like you own them bitches. Trust me, you’ll seem so cool. Your a jock anyways.

Hope you’ll have a wonderful life being a jock. Once you turn 40 i suggest you just become a bitch. Like i always say, Just be a bitch.

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