Shall I Believe My Chinese Zodiac Or Not?

I have never grown interest into zodiac signs but i guess now is the perfect time to know whether they are correct or not. My chinese zodiac sign is the rat. Ew! Rats are like the nastiest creatures in the world. For me that is. At least now i know that the snake can eat me up, and the perfect couple. I am said to be Charming, Sociable, Resourceful, Quick-witted, Ambitious, Crafty, Self-serving. Charming? According to the merriam webster an example of charming is a charming man who had no problem winning women’s hearts. OH! Well that part is correct. Which explains the fact why i’m single but that doesn’t matter. *Looking for an excuse* That’s cause i’m home all day. Sociable? Now you cray. I am like one of the most awkwardest people on this planet. I’m shocked i even have friends. But i guess that does make me sociable to my friends. The same ones from years ago. Not new ones. Nice try you Chinese ”philosophers.” I don’t even know who makes these up. Now i am not resourceful. I have been in a stupid program at my school for the past 3 years and other losers below me, got chosen to run the program next school year. That just shows i’m a peasant to the others but really i’m just a ragging bitch at school and can’t stand their ugly faces that haunt my precious little thoughts on what to write about onto my blog. That’s why i’m a flop. Next! Quit-witted? What the fuck is that!? Does that mean i’m a quitter that loves witt…? Oh wait it’s spelled wrong! It’s quick-witted. Haha now that makes sense… I still don’t know what that means. Oh it means mentally alert. Um okay… No i disagree. I’m so stupid. I sometimes can’t even prepare myself for scary movies. I always end up getting scared. Ambitious! Oh yeah that’s totally me! I hope someday be a writer like lady gaga, confusing the fuck out of everyone. Crafty, eh i guess so. I love buying school supplies even though i never use them. Does that count? Now self-serving, i guess that’s me. I always serve my own food. But only when i’m home alone. I’m so lazy when ever my mom offers i don’t hesitate and say, “Sure mom! serve my food.” Other than that, i have no idea what these Chinese people are talking about.

“In China and Japan Rats are signs of good luck and prosperity.” Too bad Jaden smith, in Karate Kid, didn’t take me with him to china because of he did, he wouldn’t have to fight those kids. That was a lame joke. “They also possess a great sense of humor.” Oh stop, your making me blush. “Rats can be very protective and generous to those who are loyal to them.” I guess you won’t have to worry about getting tour purse stolen, when your hanging out with me. Though I do wish someday I have my White Chicks moment. “Those outside a Rat’s social circle may find them easily riled and verbally abusive.” HAHAHAHA OMG I CAN’T. This is so me. I’m such a huge bitch on my blog. “Rats do not often pass up the opportunity to debate.” True but i always have something in store, inside my head, melting them with my words and our endless debate. But sadly, i never have the guts to start one. It’s okay though, i have this blog! Smiley face.

The site also gives you a list of famous Rat’s but i have no idea who they are. I only know Donna Summer, after her death i had a major respect for her, and Louis Armstrong, actually nevermind wrong Armstrong.

“Ideal Jobs Include:
Financial advisor, Broker, Moneylender, Lawyer, Detective, Antique dealer, Auctioneer, Songwriter, Pathologist” Fools, you guys are trippen. All these jobs seem soooo boring and sooo not me. But songwriter seems fun. But not a career i want to follow. If i do i’ll become a songwriter i would write songs i would be a copycat of High School Musical.

That’s A Dealbreaker

In the TV show, 30 Rock, Liz Lemon wrote a book called, “Dealbreaker,” where she talks about what makes a man a deal breaker. For example:  If your man is over thirty and still wears a nametag to work……that’s a dealbreaker, ladies!

So here’s my edition:

• If your man’s favorite book is The Fault In Our Stars, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man still has a Nokia phone from the 2000s, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your women watches depressing movies all day, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man goes to the restroom to talk on the phone, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man doesn’t hug you when he first see’s you, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your friend is in a twerk team and your not invited to be part of the team, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man is in a twerk team, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your friends that happen to be couples, make out in front of a car accident, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man doesn’t follow you on twitter, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your friend stops singing after you have started to sing along, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If the lady who waxes you has a mustache, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If the friendly worker at starbucks doesn’t get your name right, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If the blogger you follow on tumblr promotes him/herself under the comment section in every post, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your friend say you look good but you know they are lying, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your mother says she’s on her way and she’s still home, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your friend tells you all the time “it gets better” when you know its not unless you do something, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man has a tattoo of tweety bird, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man has a cut out poster of Britney Spears, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man CALL’S HIMSELF Christian Grey, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man has a football players name tattooed on his chest, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man’s nickname is shawty machine, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man sleeps 20 hours a day, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man can spot the difference between a fake gucci bag and a real one, that’s a dealbreaker ladies.
• If your man carries a fly swatter in his back pocket, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man tans his genitals, that’s a dealbreaker.
• If your man tells you smoking causes your nipples to fall off, that’s a dealbreaker.

I Need A Little Fabulous Is That So Wrong?

Uh! WordPress has that new sophisticated look. I like it. Well it’s a Monday. Who doesn’t love Mondays? The suckers who have to work! Ha-ha! I’m so glad i’m on summer vacation. Believe me guys. I’m having so much fun this summer. That way i would go anywhere i want to go and do what i want. Like go to the thrift shop with your bi-polar sister. It was a shock for me that my sister and I  were bonding. She’s always in her room, mixed emotions all day, and calls me annoying every time when i talk to her. “Hi sister.” “Go away your so annoying!” A typical teenager. It all started with my sister wanting to borrow a book for me. Is her new crush a bookworm or something!? Why all of the sudden does she have interest in books? She wants to get an award at school for most AR points next school year. Which is a system where you take a quiz on a book you read and if you pass it you get points. So it’s about the attention. Typical attention whore. We were talking about books she could read and offered her if she would like to go to the thirft shop with me and she agreed. Woo-hoo! When I got there I was on a mission to find the book I accidentally left on the shelf but it was gone. But I did find two great books for the price of $4.21. *Kenneth from the fabulous TV show, 30 Rock, pops out*What a bargain! I bought Burned by Ellen Hopkins and The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I love Ellen Hopkin’s books . Her poetry makes me want to jump like a Mexican Jumping Bean. A bean that hardly shakes at the outside but is jumping so hard in the inside.  It’s about a daughter against the Mormon lifestyle. I also re-bought The Lovely Bones because i lost my old copy. I have no idea where it’s at. Plus i never finished it. It’s one of those books I told my teacher i read it but really all i did is do the research online.

Last night was hell not because it was Fathers Day but because i have heavy hands, or strong hands. You do the math. I have an orthopedic separator stuck deep inside my gum. I had food stuck inside my old separator so i just removed it myself and insterted a new one and i pushed it in too deep. I spent almost an hour trying to get it out but i can’t. It’s deep inside. ROLLING IN DEEP!!!!! I’m worried my orthodontist won’t be able to remove it and he’ll have to remove my tooth to get it out… But then i remembered he has tools for that kind of stuff, a mini pirate hook. Wouldn’t it be so cool if that’s what he calls it?! Arg! Here goes the removal of the rubber band for that treasure eh! Okay the truth is my mom told me. I was paranoid, i thought i had to go to the ER for it, plus it was hurting. She wanted to remove it with a needle but i refused. What if she poked my gums and started to bleed! Or worse, she’d drop it, i’d swallow it, and i would start coughing blood! AH! I was going to call the orthodontist to make an appointment for today but i was too lazy to do anything today. Which is ironic cause i went to the thirft shop. You see what books do to me! Ah the suffer! <— i have no idea what that means. I got it from my sister. The same sister where i got, swagever. So i’m just going to wait until my appointment on Thursday. It doesn’t hurt as much so i’d just wait. Hope he doesn’t get mad. Why would he though? He’s my bitch! He sorta works for me. *Weave flip*

Week 2 of summer. I feel like a new person already! Just kidding. The only new thing about me is my longer dick hair. I need a haircut. When is my Fabulous, High School Musical 2 musical number coming!? This is the moment when my biggest fan comes in and says: This bitch needs a day in the beach with lemonade imported from Florida, books imported from the UK, british boys, massager from China, designer clothes, fabulous party, HE’S GOT TO HAVE FABULOUS EVERYTHING AND EVERYDAY. There’s nothing to discuss everything’s got to be fabulous for me. Haters: Ok okay I’ll bring the amazing blogger, Perez Hilton. Um that’s insulting! I need more. I need I need I need. I need I need I need fabulous One Direction, Cher Lloyd, Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, Britney Spears, and Beyonce at my beach parties in their beach swim suits! Oh i like what i see! I like alot! Is this absolutely fabulous? Absolutely. *parent’s walk in* NOT!

“The whole world is according to moi!” 11 blog views in one day. “Excuse me.” 153 blog views in one day. “Thank you.” 

But you know i like the fabulous life i’m living now. Waking up at 10 AM, reading all day, watching netflix,  and… be a lazy butt and do nothing. Atleast i have something going on in this lifestyle from the song, Fabulous. “Fabulous trash.” Which is used books from the thrift shop. Hater:”Don’t forget your wardrobe!” Gosh this summer is so boring.

Random And Weird Is The New Funny On Kik

I asked people on Tumblr to kik me and this was one of my lucky winners.

Fiction Friday: The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A Party Part 2

Seth: Here to give us an insight on WHAT THE FUCK is going on with the world is The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A party.

TGYWYHSACWAAP: Hi seth!

Seth: Hello. Now tell me, what’s happening to Amanda Bynes?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: I have no idea seth. First she’s all like, “When your ready come and get it.”

Seth: That’s Selena Gomez.

TGYWYHSACWAAP: Na na na na na na. Like waht is there to get? Fudge.

Seth: Why would she have Fudge with her?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: There’s millions of lipsticks out in the world and not one can be used to clean the floors.

Seth: Why would it be used for cleaning?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: To distract Drake to come and get Amanda. Like helloooooo doesn’t anybody cry anymore?!

Seth: I cry alot actually.

TGYWYHSACWAAP: I’m not talking to you i’m talking to the mexican cleaning lady. Hey Maria no tu eres la pinche gringa! She tells that to me all the time. I have no idea what she means.

Seth: Where is Maria? There’s nobody cleaning anything right now.

TGYWYHSACWAAP: Here let em give you this number for pool cleaner.

Seth: What do you think about the economy and where it’s at right now?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: Okay, someday big foot will come by and eat all of the chips in the world and we would be a hungry nation. Like think about global warming. They will not be able to fart.

Seth: Huh… How is… What are you talking about!?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: Marry the nerds, be a bad bitch boss, go with the university gut, put your money where your mouth is, and be rich while living like a peasant. Those are the simple ways to be a billionaire.

Seth: One last question, are you a hipster?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: My hips can’t actually stir Seth, i have genital warts.

Seth: The girl you wish you hadn’t started a conversation with, everyone!

“You Make Blogging Look So Easy”

I do not making blogging look easy. It’s a hard and a longgggggg process. I always have so many blog ideas in my mind but don’t have the words to end it. It’s so hard. It takes me about an hour to get one blog post, written. But there is always some hard work behind my blog posts. For example, My blog post about asking tumblr users questions. That blog post took me three hours to put together cause i had to wait til they answer, take a snap shot, and edit it. Plus an extra 30 minutes to put it together. Being a blogger is so hard. But i love it. Creating words, characters, events, and awkward and hilarious moments is what my blog is all about. I swear i even make myself laugh so hard. For example this post from a fiction friday:

TGYWYHSACWAAP: What do you think teenagers are doing nowadays?

Seth: I don’t know. Studying.

TGYWYHSACWAAP: No seth, they’re being little creeps on the internet. Like yesterday a 11 year old kid like’d my picture on instagram. Now how creppy is that!?

Seth:Very creppy.

TGYWYHSACWAAP: Like we should send all the little girls to myspace. Nobody use’s myspace anymore. They are just so full of candy.

Seth: Why candy?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: I’m talking about Halloween seth. How do you think Kesha feels?

Seth: I have no idea what your talking about. How does she feel?

TGYWYHSACWAAP: She says were going to die young. All of the pigs are happy.

Only an idiot like me can make this up. Blogging is a tricky thing to do because you atleast have to make your self clear. Sometimes i don’t even think i accomplish that in every blog post. But the hardest thing of it all, for me that is, is coming up with the title for the blog post. I swear one of the most stupidest blog post i’ve created is, Thoughful Day. EVERYDAY is a thoughful day for me.  I’m always thinking about what to blog next. Other than coming up with the tittle i have to make it appealing. Appealing so that my readers want to read more. And sometimes it works like My Sister Sucks My Cock, a post about ranting a fellow search term. But this is what i love to do. I have fun writing it because it’s my world. The world i would like to live in. Daniel In Wonderland.

And thanks to my fellow reader for commenting it on my blog for making me one blog post richer. Shall you become filthy rich.

Emblem3

So it’s true. In case you don’t follow me on twitter, maybe you shall reconsider it now @wonderlandhalo, I did go to see Emblem 3 last night. It was a GREAT show. I had so much fun.

This is how long the line was… so close yet so far. We were in line for like 45 minutes. (BTW it was a free show). My friends and I were in line since 5:00, doors didn’t open til 6:00ish and the concert didn’t start til 7:30. We were suffering. So we just left the line to get food, came back and sat on the ground. I’m trying not to think about the number of people who have spit on the ground… But it was fun cause we had each other to kill time which included selfies and talking shit… Opps.

This is how close we were to the stage. All the way up front, general admission. Not bad for a free concert. Don’t think this was it, if you haven’t been to the Del Mar fair, they had seats behind us. It was like an arena. But an outdoor one… Half it’s size.

My friend and I got tired of standing so we just sat on the floor. Basic bitches everywhere.

My tweet on the big screen! Me and my friends thought it would be so hilarious if my tweet would make it to the big screen cause it had Lana Del Rey saying, Bitch Please. When my tweet was on the screen i screamed, “That’s my tweet. WOOO Lana!” And everyone turned back and smiled. A smile that said, haha how funny, your funny, i love Lana too… Or atleast that’s the way I interpreted it.

Emblem 3 taking the stage!

It was a great show, not bad for a new band. My friend, who wanted to come since the beginning, was even crying during the show.  A day i will never forget in so many ways. I swear Wesley made eye contact with me…OMG it was amazing.