A Snail Without A Shell; I Just Couldn’t Think Today

School is that place where you walk in and you just don’t know what to expect but its kinda weird because it always brings something great. The perks of being a senior is that you don’t have to get exhausted to Algebra 2 CST testing. But then exhaust comes anyway. I was playing Yahtzee and it gave  me a headache because i keep on loosing and it gets me confused  with what is a full house, getting it mixed up with others. Games are  just not my thing. I like one player games like Deal or No Deal. Because I actually have the chance winning money and not loosing. Same thing with solitaire. You just have to be smart on how to play the game. In Yahtzee you have to add up all of the points and realizing you lost because your partner won Yahtzee and you haven’t.

I just want some wings that have all the great things i need to succeed in life. Wings that has 9 brains for the smarter benefit, WiFi for twitter and blogging, and a mini toilet where i can get tiny and jump inside and pee and poop. I mean who doesn’t want it’s own bathroom made only for yourself?! Hookers because they like the idea of all kinds of reproductive organs in one room or been in the same room (Making them horny). I had to pee so bad all day during school until last period and the freaking stall was dirty and I just thought of a spotless toilet and peed. Usually I don’t pee until I get home but it couldn’t wait. I had rehearsal until 6PM. So I pretended that fresh, bubbly pee, wasn’t there and thought of Wide Awake by Katy Perry. Don’t know how that worked but it did so I’m glad it did.

During lunch my friends we’re saying jokes to one another and I was just there laughing trying to think of something but I’m just not that funny. Some of my friends jokes include:
What do you call a computer in the sea? Adele rolling in the deep.
How does NASA plan it’s parties? They planet.
Why did Sally fall off of the tree? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Sally!

Fuck I wish I had a wide variety of cheesy jokes. The only joke I know is: What’s black and white all over? A newspaper. And that’s not even a joke. I got it from Disney 365 and not from my hilarious parents. What kind of “humor” blogger am I if I can’t think of any jokes? One that relies on his wonderland.

Over all today was a good day. It just went by so fast and I liked that. The fact that tomorrow is Psychology, Drama, and English makes it bad but good all over again because I’m missing school on Friday because I’m going to a conference in Sacramento! Friday also known as Senior Ditch Day round 2. Wow I was actually planning to go to school on Senior Ditch Day because of I wanted that extra credit but ugh ya know my class is so stupid.

One Big Ball Of Earphones #SeniorProblems

God will someday barge into my home the day I’m doing something productive today and congratulate me. I’m starting find myself annoying because all I blog about is procrastination one way or another. I got so much to do today and yet I’m not doing it because my teenage brain  is saying, “say because it’s yolo! You only live once.” But guys I don’t know why.

My life thoughts and plans are all conjoined like one big ball of earphones. The kind of earphones you buy at the 99 cents store and you don’t know whether they will last or not, just like my life. Which one is right? Which one looks pretty? Which one makes me look cool? Which one will change my life for the good? Will it be a waste of money and time? Here’s my long list of options:

  • Go to community college in San Diego,
  • or Los Angeles,
  • or my hometown,
  • or Washington as I want to live somewhere new along with my best friend.
  • Go to the university where I got accepted to Chico university 10  hours away,
  • or 3 hours away in Channel Island.

All I want is to be independent already and be far away from my mother as possible. But first I need to have a bank open and to do that I need job. But looking for a job is hard. *starting to miserably fake crying and worrying like a big weirdo in a soap opera* BUT I DON’T EVEN DRIVE YET! I don’t want to be like David Sedaris, starting to drive until I’m in my 30s. I got a mother who is lazy and sometimes i don’t know when is the appropriate time to ask her to teach me or not.

This is a saved post from a long time but still relevant today. Right now I’m sitting in my chair looking around the room and I see my room is a mess just like my thoughts. But really I blame that to watching Lady Gaga’s interview at SXSF questioning life.

Calling out all the teenagers in senior year who have no fucking clue what to do with your life, aren’t you kinda over told what you should do with your life? To all the bitches who talk about college deadlines constantly to friends, find something better to talk about. There are seniors who can hear you and it’s just an overwhelming thought to think about. WE. GET. IT. Your just so excited about college and you’re on top of everything but no just stop.  But yeah seniors, congrats to you because you’re making it out alive.

My wonderland consists of a world where I have nothing to worry about but only the limited choice of toppings on my pizza i can choose from, what flavor to get on my snow cone, what starbucks drink I should drink from my own coffee shop that’s inside my closet-mall, and the amount of dogs I want to cuddle with at night. (due to the fact that my mom doesn’t let me have dogs because she has enough already with me.)

Ha! I Have Another Blog

What’s a blog? Because I don’t have one. That’s what I tell students at my school. I have a new blog created from my school and it’s just a bit odd because I actually have readers on it. I know I have readers on this blog but on my other one I get actual commenters rather than spam that I submit to make myself look good.

It’s just hard because I actually have to think and try to be funny in my own way. On this blog I really don’t give a shit and I’m like okay yeah whatever the losers who find this boring can go suck it.

But don’t worry I’m never going to delete this blog. It’s a weebly blog so it sucks.

But if you would like to read it the blog can be visited at danielgiraffe.weebly.com

 

 

 

Life is like a box of chocolates, I always know what I’ll get

There are times i want to scream so loud someone will hear me and be like, “wanna be friends?”

Then I say, “Sure!”

“I love it I love it when you scream it! Lets be friends and continue yelling aka fangirling to one direction because i can tell by your scream your frustrated at your friend because she makes you seem like only she love one direction alot. Fangirls at heart like me  and  you can tell what we’re going through.”

“Ugh thanks for being there for me. After I told her I’m getting tickets for one direction’s tour she said, ‘you don’t think you love one direction more than me right?’ but since I didn’t want to be a bitch at that moment I said, ‘no I know you love them more than me.’ A part of me wants to believe its because she’s a girl and they sing songs about them and make them feel weak but gosh gurl calm down they aren’t all for you. I’m imaging a scenario saying in reply to her, ‘no bitch you probably don’t know how much i like them because i’ve kept this all inside.’ and write her a huge list of reason why i love them and shut her up. I can be evil when it comes to my imagination.”

“Ugh i feel you, I’ve been there. I had to break up with my boyfriend because he thinks it’s weird how i love the band more than him. He will never understand.”

This is the same girl who is upset because I won’t give her my sperm.

We made this little truce saying if she doesn’t find someone by the age of 30 I’d give her my sperm for her to have a baby. I was just said yeah whatever.

Until one day she wanted me to sign a paper so she knows it’s real and I was iffy about it and ended up not signing it. She was not mad but she had the kind of emotion that says, “omg just sign it.” I told her I’ll take it home and “think” about it. And so I thought about it.

I realized that if she does have a kid of mine it would break my heart because that kid would be like, “where’s daddy” “oh he’s irrelevant he just gave me his sperm.” I don’t want the kid to grow up with those feelings. Plus it would be a weird feeling for me knowing I have a kid and I don’t get to play an important role into his life or nevertheless see him/her everyday.

So that’s why I’m not giving away my sperm!

She’s being so negative and brings it up asking why and i tell her why and she still doesn’t get it. i just hate it how she’s soooo negative. she’s convinced she won’t find a man. your a senior in high school so please don’t have that mind set.

I realized i need to be surrounded around positive people but ya know, life is like a box of chocolates, I always know what I’ll get. I hang out with negative friends and I know what kind of situations I’ll get into.

1/21/14 Drag Queen To Play the Role of Amy Winehouse as a Drag Queen

Is it weird that I picture/want myself to be in the worst situations? As I was at youth court today a guy with a big afro was staring at me as I was at Youth Court. Even when I arrived he stared at me as if I was someone famous. Has he never seen a “feminine” guy before? Does my personality shock him? Cause let’s not get into it because he’s personality is different too at the fact that he has an afro and acts like a hypie from the 70s but dressed like a skater boy. I thought he was going to like beat me up after Youth Court and I was looking forward to it. I wanted to set him off and ask him if it makes him feel stronger and I’m not going to have him take the credit of beating up a faggot rather than changing his retrospeck of what he thinks about them now… I tend to think I have a devious mind for doing things like this. To set something good onto the world but really all I can do is be positive. And that’s what I’ve been doing all day.

Feels like my whole day I’ve been given the task to really think in symbols wise. The kind of thing your English teacher makes you want to do when writing an essay about a story. Today in Drama we watched the whole musical of South Pacific and I’m so excited for the play that if I do audition, I don’t care what role I get. I wanted to set myself high for the part of the main sailor but say I do a great job auditioning that part, what if I get a higher role like the lieutenant. But whatever. It is what it is.

I’ve had a GREAT day. I had many things that I enjoyed doing today. Today I went to starbucks and I started to realize how a Barista really likes it when you say thank you. It was sorta awkward if you think about it but for me, it wasn’t. I was sitting on my table and realize my coffee was ready and from the table I said, “Oh that’s mine. Thanks!” And as I was walking to get it the barista looked compelled and said, “Your welcome. You have a great rest of your evening.” I made it sound awkward and a bit boring but it was more than that. I felt the emotion the Barista got, thankful and knowing he really needed it after a long day at work. Think about it, it’s starbucks and they make a hundred cups of coffee a day and alot of people often grab their coffee and leave. I always grab it and say Thank You. That’s the least I could do to make them forget their stressful job.

I literally got home with 30 minutes to myself. What did I do? Listen to Amy Winehouse. I think she’s an amazing singer and songwriter. If all of her songs on Back to black where real based on her life, shit. I admire her on so many levels. When listening to the music I pictured a male version of Lady Gaga doing a musical play about her life dressed up as a drag queen. That would be EPIC. Thinking about all of the success the musical would make and the awards, one of the speeches would have to leave Lady Gaga crying and admiring Amy as a person who battled her life and reflected it to art in her music. If anyone we’re to play a role of Amy Winehouse I would imagine this would be a role that would will stay with the actor forever. Listen to the album and you’d understand.

If everyday this week was busy as this, I wouldn’t mind having no internet at home. This kind of busy day is a great feeling because I have a feeling that my presence takes an effect on everyone. Either if it’s because of my personality or the fact that I smiled at you today. Today in Psychology we watched a video about facial expressions and my teacher told us our only homework was to smile and 4 four people, strangers. I think that’s the best homework assignment anyone could ever assign. Giving a smile to a stranger gives someone hope. For me, oH GOD IT WOULD GIVE ME SO MUCH HOPe. There are so many cute guys in psychology and omg if they smile at me, it would give me hope that I’ve got a chance to be with some attractive. Not only that but it would make my day better knowing that cutie smiled at me as I just die inside because of feelings. “He’s so hot I can just bake cookies off of him.”

1/20/14 Red and Blue

Red is the day. You know how Taylor Swift has a song called Red saying, “Loving him was red, something was red all alone, and something was blue and blah blah blah.” Well today Red represented the blood gushing out of the body to the dancing of the music including my own. Listening to Jewels and Drugs while imagining Drake doing his hand motions, his way of banging his head, to the music made me crack up because it’s just so hilarious seeing him doing that with his eyes closed and doing a face that looks like he’s about to have an orgasm.

My dancing included me grabbing everything I had and licking to it to the beat of Beyonce’s song, Haunted. Inspired by the music video, ofcourse because me being a guy licking stuff was the only sexy thing I could think of in the context of Beyonce being sexy. I grabbed an used tea spoon and licked it and well, that tasted a bit salty. (I still have the taste in my mouth). Also licking around my dental rubber bands that ripped when I was going too hard lip sync’n to Drunk In Love.Gosh I just want to make a video to that song and Rocket sooo bad. Omg.

My day was also blue. And by blue I mean mellow. In bed there I was listening and head banging to the complete album of Midnight Memories. I could of gotten up and danced like I did when listening to BEYONCE but it was the morning and I kinda didn’t want to get up. That’s also what made the day blue. Not wanting to get up.

My house is SOOOO boring without the internet. What the hell is there to do? I guess the only option would be to watch live TV and read. Reading isn’t so bad but to me it’s bad reading a book that’s not yours when you know the pages on the old book is going to fall out. Plus without goodreads reading isn’t the same. I loved the idea of posting what page I’m on as a status because it’s like saying what part of the book your on and saying this book is fucking crazy and I’m freaking out all by the push of a button, okay couple of buttons and boom people can already guess your reading bi-polarity mood by looking at the page number.

Watching live TV was SOOO boring as well. Maybe because it was the morning but still. I was watching Real House Wives of Atlanta and I ended up hating the show. Kenya is ALWAYS singing her feelings to the beat of her best friend pounding the wall and ends up with Kenya twerking. And then she later asked, omg look heres a gun! Hey BFF should I take this gun with me to a party? And she’s laughing  while her BFF is like scared, gurl I would too, if she’s singing her feelings she’s got a problem and you don’t want to be near her,  and he goes down stairs to not risk his life to her jokes of a gun. And that’s only one Housewife.

I could of spent my day watching Netflix, endless scrolling on Twitter, and on Tumblr. But nooo. Out of nowhere my DSL connection starts to fail. This is when I wish Robots where taking over the world because Robots don’t ever get tired and can come any day and time of the week to fix it. But nooo. We live in a world where robots are said to be dangerous while AT&T workers are busy doing other “superhero” stuff. Hmp! I’ll show you what a superhero can’t do. (That was my way of saying, Bitch I’ll fuck you up, in a black girl kind of way).

Untitled Because Of Reasons

Yay I’m back! It feels sooo good to have WiFi again. I literally got internet connection on Wednesday night after my mom did a favor to the neighbor and heard our “depressing” situation and offered to give us her WiFi password. I could of blogged Wednesday night but I was too distracted being reunited with my babies. And yesterday… I don’t really have an excuse sorry. But I’m here now!

Last night I stayed up until midnight (it’s a school night so yeah I’m such a bad ass) watching Blackfish and I have mixed feelings about that movie. Yes I agree Killer Whales should be released but I want to see them at SeaWorld doing amazing stuff with the trainers and I just can’t imagine a society without Shamu. I remember growing up going to San Diego as a kid and admiring the hard work and dedication those trainers on Believe do in every show. Shit. And watching the trainers show their love to the Orcas and how full of life they are. Omg they are so cute. I don’t think I’ll ever become a trainer for Shamu because I’m kinda scared to be in a pool that deep and Omg looking at it gives me the chills like what if I fall down and drown. That was my biggest fear when visiting Sea World. Other than that, I loved it. I love seeing the sharks, starfishes, fishes, jelly fishes, going on the rides, seeing the polar bears, the peguins, and the list continues.

My whole day consisted of having fun. Lol not really. I really want a date night with my friends so badddd. Going to Barnes and noble and getting coffee then going out for dinner is the recipe of best night ever. It something that needs to be attached to my back for me to survive. That way it’s with me everywhere I go. (I know that’s not a great explanation but go figure).

So for the next two blog posts are drafts that didn’t get published because of the internet but now it works I’m publishing it in the next two minutes.